Crucify My Love
by Ayumu Kasuga
Summary: songfic with XJapan's 'Crucify My Love'.. duh... leave a review plz... and no flames.. thank you!


Note: this is a postwar fic.. so everything is over, and the Dragons of Heaven have won.

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN X! X/1999 IS PROPERTY OF CLAMP, AND CLAMP ONLY::sobs: ... and i don't own the song, either.. that is strictly X-Japan' s propertery.

normally, i'm not a big KotorixKamui fan, but the song and the story just FIT.

Key:

_song lyric_

**flashback**

"normal"

story

(Author's Notes)

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Kamui Shiro sat in the cool shade of a quiet, strong tree, resting his tired body in the peaceful boughs. Warm sunlight shone through, warming his exhausted soul, and bringing him into a quiet sleep. One of the sleeps where he'd thought he'd never rest so peacefully again.. like now.. like how he slept before the War.. but that Battle had left his body depleted of energy.. so there was only one place he'd chosen to spend to rest of his quickly used-up days...

_Crucify my love_

_If my love is blind_

_Crucify my love_

_If it sets me free_

**"I promise, when I come back to Tokyo, it'll to be to protect you, Kotori-chan."** **A ten-year-old Kamui swore to a furiously blushing Kotori.**

_Never know, never trust_

_That love should see a color_

_Crucify my love_

_If it should be that way_

**"Don't talk to me anymore." A sixteen-year-old Kamui shortly told a shocked Kotori.**

**"But-" she tried.**

**"I said, don't talk to me anymore. Things have changed now.. we aren't friends anymore.."**

_Swing the heartache,_

_Feel it inside out_

_When the wind cries_

_I'll say 'good-bye'_

**"Kotori!" Kamui screamed as he ran towards her, but the distance between them remained the same- interminably unchanging, the sea of blood obstructing him from his path.**

_Like a river flowing to the sea_

_You'll be miles away_

_And I will know- I know _

_I can deal with the pain_

_No reason to cry_

**Her eyes, crying out to him, pleading for him to save her from that cross...**

_Crucify my love_

_If my love is blind_

_Crucify my love_

_If it sets me free _

**Fuma's cold, malicious smile, as he started to sink the long blade into her chest. Her honey-colored eyes widening in surprise as that smile grew bigger, and he.. tenderly? sank his Shinken into her heart further and further.**

_Never know, never trust_

_That love should see a color_

_Crucify my love_

_If it should be that way._

**Hinoto telling him that he could save her from such a fate- such a horrible death. Her wide, unseeing eyes, pleading for him to save the Earth, just as Kotori had pleaded with her eyes to save herself from her own demise.**

_'Till the loneliness shadows the sky_

_I'll be sailing down, and I will know-_

_I know I can clear clouds away_

_Oh, is it a crime to love?_

**"That girl loved Kamui, deeply, with all her heart. Inside herself she nurtured a sword that only Kamui could take. And so, I simply withdrew it. It meant that she must die." Fuma's eyes shone with an icy, merciless gleam that shouldn'tve been there in the first place.. Oh, if only Fate didn't have such a sadistic sense of humor..**

_Swing the heartache_

_Feel it inside out_

_When the wind cries _

_I'll say 'good-bye'_

Kamui was crying openly now, both in his dream and reality. This dream wouldn't leave him alone, would it? The regret and pain he held over Kotori's death made him feel like he didn't want to live anymore... Tears slipped down his alabaster features, but a quiet, pale hand reached out to wipe them away. The salty liquid pooled in the shadows of the tree, and in his heart, making the puddles seem like blood. But inside his soul, they were instantly wiped away by seeing the love of his life in front of his amethyst eyes.

_Tried to learn, tried to hide_

_To reach out for eternity_

_Where's the answer-_

_Is this forever?  
_

Kotori Monou's phantom hand brushed away his tears with a smile, but disappeared with only a surprised and dry, tearless face behind. His violet depths betrayed his surprise at her sudden disappearance, but in a couple of minutes, was replaced by a look of.. comfort and peace.

_If my love is blind_

_Crucify my love_

_If it sets me free_

He sat very still, just for a moment, and then sagged back down, as if a great weight was lifted from his frail shoulders. Relaxing, Kamui Shiro felt as if he could live with himself now... with or without his swiftly disappearing days of life slip from his body. And to think, all of this just by napping in the sun.. under a tree.. a grave..

_Never know, never trust_

_That love should see a color_

_Crucify my love_

_If it should be that way..._

The grave of his lover- Kotori Monou.


End file.
